All is fair in ______________ ?

I feel like I can never say the right words.
I sit here staring at the TV and writting these words as if it is what i am to do.
I wish I could just go away and not come back sometimes.
Its hard trying to please everyone when I can't even please myself becuase of them.
People tend to hurt me so much that I have a wall up but I so desperately wish I had someone to call my own.
I am such a sap.
I enjoy Tim Burton's movies I could watch them until the world ends.
A lot of things are running short in my life right now yet it feels like I am running a marathon.
Lately I can't sleep and I don't know why, I lay there looking up wondering will it get any better.
I am looking for boy (man) that will make my hair stand on ends, that well say I am cute or beautiful and not sexy, that knows to leave me alone when it is needed, who wants to help me with my dreams not not break be down for having them.
I want a life of music, to see the world and all the things that could happen.
Friends... what are they anyways, most people seem to want to be there if you know someone or have the money.
Life....its such a complicated thing.