This doesn't hurt...much...

She walks the halls.
It's no different.
She is still the outkast.
The emo reject.
Nobody looks at her, only if necessary.
Her hazel eyes are shining with tears.
Yet no one looks at her.
Perhaps if they did, they could have saved her, They would have seen the tears.
They would have seen how scared she was.
How regretful she was.
They would have seen the blood.
The blood that was dripping steadily from her wrists.
The words freshly etched there.
Fuck up.
Pain saves.
Suddenly she collapses.
Now they notice.
I closed my eyes and listened to the rhythmic beating of hearts.
It captivates me.
The only thing I focus on is the sound of the beating hearts.
Life.
It's funny how life is so connected.
The domino effect.
One things lead's to another.
What goes up, must come down.
For every action there's a reaction.
Why are there so many ways to say the same thing?

So here is me on my emo day, why I started feeling like this all of a sudden I have no idea.
Little old me and my hazel eyes feeling like there is nothing good happening to me.
I miss you.
I miss me.
I have finally started realizing that something is wrong.
Really truly wrong.
And it feels so damn bad.
I haven't been giving you all of me.
The true me.
You know what it is and pointed it out.
I feel bad.
You are going to take me to get help.
If I have you by my side I know I can do it.
Without you I will never find my way.
Mood swings are a bitch.
I need sleep.
I can't seem to do it with out you next to me.

Wow I need out of this rut!
When you judge others you don't define them... You define yourself.
~Ashley