Grrrrr....

I'm not even going to say sorry about being away for so long. I'm at school now and things are so stressful. I found out my roommate went to the RA because I snore and I didn't even know it. I also found out that because finacial aid is stupid that they still have yet to approve anything, so everything that I have worked so hard to do and know that it could be taken away within a week is killing me. My dad can't be approved for a loan and my mom is trying but I don't think that is going to work either. I have never wanted to drink so much in my life. I've never wanted to pick up a phone and call him to come and hold me to take everything away as much as I do. I've never wanted to scream, punch or even thought about doing something that I haven't done in so long, as I do this very moment. I'm so stressed and feel so boxed in that I can barely breathe. Everything seems to come crashing down at one time that it's not even funny. I don't know were to turn or where to go. Its funny how much I try to fake being happy when I am so stressed. There are times when I think some people don't even realize it. I know I have started to show the wears and tares of it but its all been eating at me and now I can't hide behind my fake smile and laugh anymore. It's taking too much out of me. I didn't sleep last night because of dealing with all of this. I just feel like I need to get away already.

Ashley Rockstar....(I don't really fell like a rockstar right now though)