Pretty, Pretty pills....

This place tastes like suicide.
Blood.
Tears.
Failure.
& Depression.
And these pills never were so tempting.
It's the newest fashion of '07.
Death never looked so good on me.
It makes my hips slimer.
And my eyes more blue.
Everyone around me is giving it a try.
They take pills like they're just drugs.
They pop pills like they're candy.
Party when the funeral ends!
But the funeral never stops.
No matter what you do
You'll still see girls in black dresses
And little boys tugging at their ties.
I want to join in.
I'm tired of this fucking world.
A world where nothing goes right.
Where everyone keeps turning their back of me.
Where no one cares where they sleep at night.
Don't leave me here in this dark world.
I need your light to guide me.
Don't leave me here in this sick world.
I'll need your comfort to help me.
Don't leave me here in this cold world.
I'll freeze without your warmth.
These pills can't keep me warm.
But they keep tricking me into thinking they will.
I won't do it.
Yes, you will.
I can't do it.
Yes, you can.
I am fucking sick of being left.
In this cold, dark, sick world.
With no one.
With no explanations.
With no good-byes.
You do it one more time?
And it'll be my turn.

And yet you still can't be happy...

Can you never be happy for me?
I tell you things thinking that you would be happy for me and all I get back is yelling. You telling me it's not a good idea. What about my dreams? You already have yours. I haven't slept and now I am sick from the stress. Lord knows I don't need it, I am always sick enough. Are you worried something is going to happen with the guys? That would never happen. But then again why should you care anyways?

I'm going to lay down. More Later....

Life when we were young....

If life could stay as it was when we were young.
When boys had cooties and girls were just icky.
When all we needed was candy and a t.v. to make us happy.
When the worst things we did was yelling at our little brother and the worst punishment we ever got was an early bedtime.
It was a time when the toughest descions we had were picking teams for tag and when money was only useful for toys.
It was a wonderful time when hugs solved anything and family ment everything.
When we were young death was not understood and pain could not truely be described.

Look at us and see what we have become. See how we are in a world of lost hope.
Where life just means pain and suffering and happiness is only a blurry dream.
Where high school is a prison full of messed up people and crazy teachers.

We now live in a wrold where money means more drugs and people hate themselves because they don't look like the girl on the cover of the magizine.
Where people feel the only way to escape their pain is to hurt themselves.
In this world we are pressured to be people we're not.

How could I have become this girl who can't even look in the mirror because she knows she'll just cry?
How could people I've known since kindergarden be smoking pot or cutting their wrists?
When we were young we could laugh and joke around saying we'd never do those things, but when things like alcohol and suicide are starring at us in the face we just give in.
When we were young most of us were safe. We had high hopes and dreams and hearts of gold. I wish I could go back to those years of my childhood where I didn't have to be afraid of life.

When Die-monds Fall From The Sky

Lay back, baby.
Relax your mind.
Though, sleep never comes to your eyes.
Can you feel the pulse,
The pulse of my wrist?
Hell, the world already knows,
How you left me like this.

I am the obsessed.
You are the obsessor.
Dreams are for beleivers.
And I can't beleive...

Emotions running high.
Like late night in the basement.
Lips quiver, hearts break.
How many pills should I take?
My prescription's expired.
How could you know?
Faux affection.
Good intention.
That's not a crack through a muscle.
That's a break in my heart.

Teardrops fall.
One by one.
Have you been counting?
I have.
This is how I pass my time.
Repeating all of your clever lines.
Over and over,
You take over my mind.

What's sympathy among enemies?
Hell, what's a hug between friends?
When your compassion is false.
All you ever wanted was a good night reaction.
Well, I'll tell you,
I can't see any stars in your eyes.
There filled with die-monds.
Baby, die-monds.

My eyes are lined with black.
You wonder, 'what is that?'
The charcoal makes me seem ob-scene.
But baby, why do you care?
You won't stare into the eyes,
Of your lower-class lover.
And I can't help but wonder...
Why not me, but another?

ughhhh....